Schubert. On Film.

THIS TRAILER BLOWS: The Losers

Posted in this trailer blows by schubertonfilm on March 28, 2010

It’s trying so hard to be cool but just winds up looking like a second-rate version of your average big budget action blockbuster. Let’s put no-name actors next to slow-motion action, make sure to include an awful one-liner in between every explosion and you have a movie that will make no money because no one cares about these actors: Jeffrey Dean Morgan (so you were in the Watchmen. Nobody cares about that movie either), Jason Patric ( I love you but you’re taking a paycheck you sunofabitch) and ESPECIALLY the upcoming “Captain America” – Chris Evans. Who actually likes this guy? He’s obnoxious. I guess people care about Avatar’s Zoe Saldana so maybe someone will go see it, but it’s easy as pie to see The Losers is a second-rate studio quickie for the mentally challenged filmgoer.

THIS TRAILER BLOWS: Valentine’s Day

Posted in this trailer blows by schubertonfilm on February 2, 2010

Julia’s back!!! Yay!!!

Gotta love that Garry Marshall. For almost three generations now, he’s brought the world the most derivative Hollywood romantic comedies one can dream up. And “Valentine’s Day” looks like the cream of the crop. When He’s Just Not That Into You came out, one would assume that was as star-packed as a romantic comedy could be. Boy was I wrong. Leave it to Garry to get every amazing method actor into the same movie: Ashton Kutcher, Jessica Alba, Taylor Swift, Julia Roberts, George Lopez, Jennifer Garner. With so many actors I want dead in the same movie, maybe I’ll just show up at the premiere and Grassy Knoll that sunofabitch.